I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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