Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
