I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
