He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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