I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize