Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
