I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
