Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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