She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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