when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
