bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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