College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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