My nipple is on Facebook.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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