hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
