Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
