it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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