I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
