pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
