Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
