it's not cheating when I paid for it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
