I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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