are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
