My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You need a sexual gate keeper
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
