I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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