i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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