why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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