So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
