First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
