Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
