i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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