He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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