dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im six kinds of drunk right now
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
