Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
