I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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