the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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