If i come over, it means nothing
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
