is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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