Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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