I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
