Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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