I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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