What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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