this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We just shotgunned beers for America
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
