Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You dont lie about slip and slides
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
