In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
