So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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