...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My dick has a subreddit
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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