But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
