This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
NoShamevember. You game?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
