you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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