idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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