Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
